Updated: Jan 26
Hi everyone! I've been meaning to start this blog for a while, and I guess this has been overdue. For the first topic I wanted to write about, I thought it would be special to discuss something that initially brought me into the field of psychotherapy not too long ago. And that is self-esteem.
During my early years, I like many others struggled with issues of self-esteem. There were times when I felt great about myself, and times when I felt not so great about myself. I've come to learn over time and in my own personal therapy and in the conversations that I've had with some of my clients is that our work with self-esteem is a life long process. There will be times where we feel like rock stars and other times where we want to hide under a rock. While everyone experiences periods of time where they may occasionally doubt themselves, a low self-esteem can leave you feeling insecure, unworthy, and unmotivated.
The relationship that we have with ourself will ultimately set the tone for the other relationships that we will have in life. If the relationship that we have with ourselves is full of put-downs, criticism, and harmful self-talk, this allows for others to treat us the way that we treat ourselves. So despite the disappointments and mistakes that life brings, how can we develop a healthy inner relationship with ourselves? How can we develop a healthy self-esteem?
Make lists of your strengths and the things that you like about yourself.Writing these things down can help remind yourself of the things that you are already good at and your positive traits.
Remind yourself that you are allowed to feel good about yourself, despite what society may tell people. It can be hard to feel good about yourself sometimes, especially with brands using unrealistic images of people to sell their products and filters on social media. Despite what the media tells us, you are ALLOWED to love yourself, just the way you are.
Spend time doing things you enjoy.When you spend time doing things that you love outside of work and obligations, you are letting yourself re-charge and strengthening the relationship that you have with yourself. You DESERVE to do the things that make you happy.
Be mindful and more aware of your inner self-talk.Are you talking to yourself the way that you would talk to a small child or someone that you love? Try and give yourself grace, even when you make mistakes.
Practice self-forgiveness.This can definitely be hard, especially when we are our own worst critics. But try and remember that we all make mistakes. What is important is that we reflect, learn, and grow from them.
Avoid comparing yourself to others.Are you following people on social media that inspire you or people that make you not feel good about yourself? Remember that no one is posting their failures, only their success.
Set measurable goals for yourself.Setting goals that are realistic and attainable can help you stay motivated.
Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself. The people that you surround yourself with ultimately will have an effect on your mental health. So why not surround yourself with deep, genuine, and authentic connections that help bring out the best in you?
Focus on what you can change.Try channeling your energy into on things that are within your control and see what can be done about them.
Always remember that you are enough.
By engaging in some of these steps, you are starting the process of developing a healthier relationship with yourself. By strengthening your self-esteem, you are also strengthening your mental health. I wish you all the best in your journey of healing. Thanks for stopping by!